So the other day I found myself buying shit on www.Newegg.com (free plug for the faggits) that wasn't going to directly or immediately entertain me. I felt that to be unacceptable and was like "gee what can i buy that will provide me with pleasure for at least the day on which i receive it?" I'm a simple man with exquisite taste, only one thing could satiate my hunger for awesome shit: LIGHTBULBS

I take maybe a good hour of my day and scour all the dumb sections of newegg looking for things that might be cosmetically appealing. They have LED strips for lame-os to put into their cases, and like those plasma balls they sold at spencers 20 years ago for $100, but nothing screams "BUY ME" Then i stumble upon the household lighting and I think to my self "i can work with this" and keep digging. Well i come to the conclusion after viewing random stuff that i NEED some LED, RGB light bulbs.

So in narrowin down my requirements, i come across a lightbulb that seems pretty cool. hell it even has a remote. im like "lets buy 2 of these theyll either suck or they wont." Let me tell you, they do not suck.

I receive and blow apart the package. i aint got time for shit between me and satisfaction. Out falls two light bulbs and two remotes, in pretty boxes. the packaging has a professional feel to it. as comical as it sounds, in the context of installing lightbulbs, they were simple to install. screw into disabled light, turn on, and press link button on remote. if link is successful, the lamp will flash 3 times. now, these remotes each can control up to FOUR zones, each one can consist of multiple/many bulbs. at 6w of power consumption, their white setting is probably comparable to at least a 40 watt bulb, if not a 60, in regards to brightness. So i install these 2 into a pair of fixtures, link em to one 'zone' on the first remote, and start playing.

The company claims 16.7 million colors. granted thats what RGB ends up, i find it hard to believe that i can literally get 16,700,000 different hues out of this light. despite this, it can hit pretty much any color your fingers are nimble enough to pick on the sick little remote. the remote, which is the power house in this tag team, has 2 'touch sliders' or something to that effect, where you can slide your shitty fingers to pick either brightness or hue. above that is a master power- which might be the best feature of all: instead of moving your fat ass to turn on and off your lights, just press the off button on the remote and leave your light switch on! If only it could feed and change you, you disgusting piece of shit! Below all those mad buttons are some normal buttons, for speed, mode, and zones.

The remote offers 9 'modes'. all of which are just variations of what is best described as 'disco mode' The speed buttons are self explanatory (speed of shit occuring). But the zones. THE ZONES.

At this time, i only have 2 of these bulbs, and 2 remotes. one remote is still packaged, so i havent begun to fuck around with multiple remotes. but i have not yet read of any kind of limit to how many bulbs can be in a single zone. im wondering if i can have zones control full rooms in various places in the house. being able to instantly illuminate or darken, or bring a disco to any room at my whim with a press of my remote. If i can have one remote set to operate full areas and then have each area with a remote to control each individual bulb. all the possibilities are there to be considered. chances are that i can do all these things and more. hell maybe even put some outside. maybe i can rig some kind of triggers to shit to make events outside manipulate these sick ass lightbulbs i now want to fill the house with.

Furthermore, you can apparently purchase the controllers, and wire your own LED lighting as you see fit, all controllable or as a module addition to your current 'zone' sets. One video on youtube has a dude showing how you can adapt it to light up your pc case using a controller, your light remote, and some generic LED strips. The same could probably be done for your store's display shelf, your sick fish tank, your nerdy school project, or your haunted halloween decorations. These are baller light bulbs. gonna order more tomorrow.

-Videos in second post-